DBT Counselling in Langley
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) in Langley
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy from my office in Walnut Grove, with virtual appointments available throughout British Columbia.
What Is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy?
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is a structured form of psychotherapy that combines behavioural therapy with skills training designed to help you understand and manage intense emotions, tolerate distress and respond more effectively to difficult situations.
DBT is rooted in a therapeutic stance of acceptance and change. The process begins with acceptance of who you are and recognition that you developed the skills and tools you have today from the resources, experiences and models available to you. That process began during childhood, when the people around you help shape how you understand and respond to feelings. When emotional regulation was modelled well you learnt effective strategies. When feelings were dismissed, misunderstood or poorly managed, you learnt imperfect coping strategies.
Those strategies helped you get through difficult moments. But some may have become patterns that are creating problems. You might withdraw, react impulsively, avoid difficult situations, become overwhelmed during conflict or reach for something that provides immediate relief from what you are feeling.
Through structured conversations using DBT, I work with you to recognize those patterns, understand their impact and develop new ways of responding. Together, we create new habits that begin to break old patterns.
DBT also helps build strategies around coping with ambiguity, the notion that two apparently incompatible truths can exist at the same time. You can love someone and hate something they have done. You can be angry with someone and grateful to them. You can be terribly imperfect and still accept yourself exactly where you are. And you can accept yourself as you are while working toward change.
DBT combines acceptance with change to help you develop the skills to create a life worth living.
The Mindset Behind DBT
WHO YOU ARE+A WILLINGNESS
TO CHANGE→A LIFE WORTH LIVING
How DBT Works
DBT begins with understanding what happens when emotions become difficult to manage. You may experience emotions intensely, have difficulty identifying exactly what you are feeling or find that the urge to respond becomes so strong that there seems to be very little space between the emotion and what you do next. In a non-judgemental space, we look at how these responses developed, what purpose they serve and what happens as a result.
DBT combines this acceptance with behavioural change. We identify the situations, emotions and patterns that create difficulties and work on developing skills you can use when those situations occur. The aim is to increase your ability to tolerate distress, regulate emotions, communicate effectively and make deliberate choices even when what you are feeling is intense.
This work is practical. Skills are learned in counselling and then applied in everyday life, where you can practise using them in the situations and relationships that actually matter to you. Over time, the goal is to increase your ability to use those skills independently and structure your life in ways that support the changes you are trying to make.
What Skills Does DBT Teach?
Recognizing a pattern is only part of changing it. DBT includes skills training designed to give you practical alternatives for moments when emotions are intense, distress is difficult to tolerate or relationships become challenging. These skills can be practised and strengthened over time, giving you more ways to respond when old patterns would otherwise take over.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness helps you become more aware of what is happening in the present moment, including your thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and urges. The aim is to notice what you are experiencing without judging it or immediately reacting to it, giving you more space to choose what happens next.
Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation skills help you understand and identify emotions, recognize what makes them more difficult to manage and develop ways of reducing emotional vulnerability. The goal isn't to eliminate strong emotions, but to become better able to experience them without being controlled by them.
Distress Tolerance
Sometimes a situation cannot be immediately solved or changed. Distress tolerance is about developing ways to get through difficult moments without making them worse. These skills can help you tolerate discomfort and manage strong urges long enough to choose a response that serves you better.
Interpersonal Effectiveness
Relationships can become particularly difficult when emotions are intense. Interpersonal effectiveness focuses on communicating what you need, setting boundaries, navigating conflict and maintaining relationships without abandoning either your own needs or the needs of the other person.
What Can DBT Help With?
DBT is used to address a wide range of emotional and behavioural concerns, particularly helpful when managing intense emotions, tolerating distress or changing established patterns of behaviour is part of the difficulty.
DBT is effective in the treatment of depression, anxiety, substance use disorders, eating disorders including binge eating and bulimia, suicidal and self-harming behaviours, Borderline Personality Disorder, bipolar disorder and trauma-related difficulties, or any other concerns involving emotional regulation.
You do not need to have a particular diagnosis to benefit from DBT.
In my practice, some of the areas where I use DBT include:
Anxiety
Anxiety can create a powerful urge to escape uncertainty, seek reassurance or avoid situations that feel threatening. DBT can help you stay present with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, tolerate uncertainty and manage the urge to react before deciding what you want to do next.
Learn more about Anxiety Counselling →Depression
When you are depressed, difficult emotions can become harder to tolerate and withdrawing from life may provide temporary relief while deepening the pattern over time. DBT can help you understand your emotional responses, tolerate difficult moments and develop skills for responding without automatically falling back on familiar patterns.
Learn more about Depression Counselling →Anger
Anger can create urgency, narrowing the distance between what you feel and what you do. DBT can help you recognize what is happening in that space, regulate the intensity of the emotion and tolerate it long enough to choose how you want to respond.
Learn more about Anger Counselling →Addiction
Alcohol, substances or other behaviours can become reliable ways of changing how you feel in the moment. DBT can help you recognize the emotions, situations and urges connected to those patterns and develop other ways of tolerating distress when the need for immediate relief becomes difficult to resist.
Learn more about Addiction Counselling →Trauma & Injury
Trauma can leave you dealing with powerful emotions, physical reactions and periods of distress that are difficult to manage. DBT skills can provide practical ways to stay present, tolerate difficult moments and manage emotional responses while other therapeutic work addresses the traumatic experience itself.
Learn more about Trauma & Injury Counselling →Personal Development & Personal Growth
DBT skills can also be useful when you aren't experiencing a mental health crisis. Learning to understand your emotions, tolerate discomfort, communicate more effectively and respond deliberately can give you greater flexibility in relationships, work and the decisions you make about your goals.
Learn more about Personal Development & Personal Growth →Who Can Benefit From DBT?
DBT can be adapted to different people, circumstances and counselling goals. I may draw from DBT when working with individuals, men, couples and families, people navigating separation or divorce, and clients accessing counselling through an Employee Assistance Program.
The way I use it depends on the person in front of me. Skills for managing intense emotions, tolerating distress, communicating effectively and navigating conflict can have different applications depending on what you are experiencing and what you want to change.
Is DBT Right for Me?
You don’t need to know whether DBT is the right approach for you before coming to counselling. Part of my role is to understand what you are experiencing, the patterns you would like to change and the skills you may need to develop.
Frequently Asked Questions About DBT
No. DBT was originally developed to treat people experiencing chronic suicidal behaviour and was subsequently used extensively in the treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder. DBT and DBT-informed approaches are now used with a broader range of emotional and behavioural concerns.
No. DBT teaches practical skills for managing emotions, tolerating distress, staying present and navigating relationships. Those skills can be useful whether or not you have a particular diagnosis.
No. The objective isn’t to prevent you from experiencing strong emotions. DBT teaches you to understand what you are feeling, tolerate the experience and develop more choice in how you respond to it.
CBT and DBT both examine relationships between thoughts, emotions and behaviour, but they place different emphasis on the work. CBT focuses on recognizing and changing patterns of thinking and behaviour. DBT places emphasis on acceptance alongside change. It teaches skills for mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance and interpersonal effectiveness.
DBT is skills-based, so practising what you learn in situations outside the counselling room can be an important part of the process. What that looks like will depend on what we are working on and the skills you are developing.
Yes. Depending on what you are experiencing and what you want to accomplish, I may draw on DBT alongside CBT, EMDR, Solution-Focused Therapy or other approaches.
Yes. I offer virtual counselling appointments throughout British Columbia as well as in-person counselling from my office in Walnut Grove, Langley.
Other Therapeutic Approaches
DBT is one of several therapeutic approaches I use. Depending on your needs and goals, I may also draw from:
DBT in Langley and Online Across BC
I offer Dialectical Behaviour Therapy as part of my counselling practice from my office in Walnut Grove, Langley. Virtual and telephone counselling appointments are also available throughout British Columbia.